Yes trials. And we've been going through one. Well, to be quite honest, it seems like our life is one, long, continuous trial.
The last couple of weeks have been brutal. Our hearts have been hurt. Our trust in other people has been shaken. In total bewilderment of life and people, we have had to cling to each other and to Jesus. I have done a lot of crying. (Pregnancy hormones never help in difficult circumstances.) There have been very few times in my life where I have felt the anger and frustration that I have over the last couple of weeks. Though I felt my feelings were completely justified, they were taking me to a place that wasn't good. We may have been wronged, but continued anger was surely going to lead me into depression, unforgiveness, and bitterness. I needed to be slapped out of the trance that I was in... if you know what I mean.
"From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness-"
2 Corinthians 11:24-27
I read this verse for the bazillionth time and my first thought was, "Holy smokes... who am I to complain." I immediately found that I was condemning myself for feeling so "woe is me" about my life. But that's not what the Lord wanted either. You see, the Lord cares for us. He cares about everything we go through... The easy, the difficult, and everything in between. He is so mindful of us... always watching us, praying for us, wanting to have close fellowship with us. "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;..." Psalm 139:17-18. I mean, for crying out loud, He died for us. What greater evidence of His love for US is there? There isn't. This truth has brought so much comfort to my life.
My second thought was, "If Paul can do it, so can I!" I was encouraged! God was with that man. He was the One who enabled him; He was his strength in weakness. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. God is with us.... we can do this.
After all of my further ponderings, this is what it came back to for me... Why do I live? Whom do I live for? What is my purpose? Bottom line: It's all about Jesus. I live to bring glory to name of Jesus Christ and I live for Him alone... that is my purpose.
"Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you;" 1 Peter 4:12. I know we've all heard the preaching on this verse over and over... But something new occurred to me this time: I wonder if he's asking this question because he's puzzled by our puzzlement. After all, isn't this what we originally asked for? When you first accepted Christ, what did that signify? What did you ask for? What did you tell Jesus? Our acceptance of Jesus into our lives, was the dying of our selves. Our acceptance of Jesus was telling Him that He had full reign in and over our life. It meant that we would do whatever He asked of us, go wherever He wanted us to go... It meant being obedient to Him no matter what the cost to us. It meant that He would be glorified. This is what we asked for. Don't ever forget that.
"But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself; so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."
Acts 20:24
I think this is my favorite verse. This is it for me. This is what I want... This is what I want my heart to be like. If the last 2 weeks of my life and what we've gone through has brought glory to the name of Jesus, then praise Him! And I ask for another 2 weeks just like the last 2 if it means that I grow in my walk with Him and that He is magnified.
And I pray the same for you who are my brother or sister in Christ... I pray that God would use you, no matter what the cost. I pray it because He is a good God, because He loves you, desires GREAT things for you, and wants to use you to do glorious works in His name.
So hold fast my friends. Stand firm. Trust Him. Cling to Him. For He is truly your All in All.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Pics.
She absolutely loves books.
She takes after her dad.
Did I mention she likes books?
And for those of you who have not yet heard.... We are having another baby! Zoe is going to be a wonderful BIG sister.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Creating.
Even more than not ever wanting to "blog", I really could have sworn that I would never knit or crochet. But alas, I do that too. And I openly admit that I love it. I love creating. Whether it's a party theme, design ideas, or decorating a room, I love coming up with new ideas and seeing them through to completion. I not only love feeling productive when I finish something, but I also enjoy the "therapeutic-ness" of it all.
And check this out! I am actually selling my items in a few stores! SO cool. I am praying that the Lord will continue to open more doors like these...
Here are a few of my newest creations. If you want to see more, you can check out my Etsy store at
www.jennmdesigns.etsy.com
And check this out! I am actually selling my items in a few stores! SO cool. I am praying that the Lord will continue to open more doors like these...
Here are a few of my newest creations. If you want to see more, you can check out my Etsy store at
www.jennmdesigns.etsy.com
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Vids.
Before I had Zoe, I just didn't get why parents were ALWAYS taking videos of their kids. Well, now I understand :)
Splashing.
Splashing.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Pictures.
We were eating crackers together.
Happy.
They always find a way to reach what you think they can't reach.
First time sticking her feet in some wet sand. She liked it.
The furrowed brow.
Grandma was here for a visit!
Such a hard life...
Devotional
Just read this devotional from "Streams In The Desert." So good. Be blessed.
"Offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life." Romans 6:13
One night I went to hear a sermon on consecration. Nothing special came to me from the message, but as the preacher knelt to pray, he said, "O Lord, You know we can trust the Man who died for us." That was my message. As I rose from my knees and walked down the street to catch the train, I deeply pondered all that consecration would mean to my life. I was afraid as I considered the personal cost, and suddenly, above the roar of noise of the street traffic, came this message: "You can trust the Man who died for you." I boarded the train, and as I traveled toward home, I thought of the changes, sacrifices, and disappointments that consecration might mean in my life - and I was still afraid.
Upon arriving home, I went straight to my room, fell on my knees, and saw my life pass before my eyes. I was a Christian, and officer in the church, and a Sunday school superintendent, but I had never yielded my life to God with a definite act of my will. Yet as I thought of my own "precious" plans that might be thwarted, my beloved hopes to be surrendered, and my chosen profession that I might have to abandon - I was afraid.
I completely failed to see the better things God had for me, so my soul was running from Him. And then for the last time, with a swift force of convicting power to my inmost heart, came that searching message: "My child, you can trust the Man who died for you. If you cannot trust Him, then whom can you trust?" Finally that settled it for me, for in a flash of light I realized that the Man who loved me enough to die for me could be absolutely trusted with the total concerns of the life He had saved.
Dear friend, you can trust the Man who died for you. You can trust Him to thwart each plan that should be stopped and to complete each one that results in His greater glory and your highest good. You can trust Him to lead you down the path that is the very best in this world for you.
"Offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life." Romans 6:13
One night I went to hear a sermon on consecration. Nothing special came to me from the message, but as the preacher knelt to pray, he said, "O Lord, You know we can trust the Man who died for us." That was my message. As I rose from my knees and walked down the street to catch the train, I deeply pondered all that consecration would mean to my life. I was afraid as I considered the personal cost, and suddenly, above the roar of noise of the street traffic, came this message: "You can trust the Man who died for you." I boarded the train, and as I traveled toward home, I thought of the changes, sacrifices, and disappointments that consecration might mean in my life - and I was still afraid.
Upon arriving home, I went straight to my room, fell on my knees, and saw my life pass before my eyes. I was a Christian, and officer in the church, and a Sunday school superintendent, but I had never yielded my life to God with a definite act of my will. Yet as I thought of my own "precious" plans that might be thwarted, my beloved hopes to be surrendered, and my chosen profession that I might have to abandon - I was afraid.
I completely failed to see the better things God had for me, so my soul was running from Him. And then for the last time, with a swift force of convicting power to my inmost heart, came that searching message: "My child, you can trust the Man who died for you. If you cannot trust Him, then whom can you trust?" Finally that settled it for me, for in a flash of light I realized that the Man who loved me enough to die for me could be absolutely trusted with the total concerns of the life He had saved.
Dear friend, you can trust the Man who died for you. You can trust Him to thwart each plan that should be stopped and to complete each one that results in His greater glory and your highest good. You can trust Him to lead you down the path that is the very best in this world for you.
Cuddling.
When Zoe was a newborn, she refused to sleep at night unless we held her. Since Lee needed sleep in order to function at work everyday, I was usually the one who got the exhausting pleasure of holding her through the night.
But then she got all independent on me. You know when they kind of grow out of that cuddly stage? I was honestly kind of bummed about it. Thankful for sleep for sure, but I still missed holding her.
Lately, she seems to be going back to her old snuggling ways. Last night she was being SO stubborn and would NOT fall asleep. I picked her up, sat on the couch, and started patting her little back. Before I knew it, she had relaxed and fallen asleep. It was just heavenly. So heavenly, that I sat there holding her for about 30 minutes.... I just didn't want to put her down.
Time goes by way too fast. Before I know it, I won't be able to hold her. Her little life is so precious...
So today, I hope you take a moment (or moments) and think about the people in your life that are so precious to you. May you take the opportunity to express that to them... Even if it is exhausting.
But then she got all independent on me. You know when they kind of grow out of that cuddly stage? I was honestly kind of bummed about it. Thankful for sleep for sure, but I still missed holding her.
Lately, she seems to be going back to her old snuggling ways. Last night she was being SO stubborn and would NOT fall asleep. I picked her up, sat on the couch, and started patting her little back. Before I knew it, she had relaxed and fallen asleep. It was just heavenly. So heavenly, that I sat there holding her for about 30 minutes.... I just didn't want to put her down.
Time goes by way too fast. Before I know it, I won't be able to hold her. Her little life is so precious...
So today, I hope you take a moment (or moments) and think about the people in your life that are so precious to you. May you take the opportunity to express that to them... Even if it is exhausting.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
My Birth Story
Yes, that's right, I am about to write (type) the birth story of my Zoe for the very first time. I know this is a little late in coming... 9 1/2 months late to be exact, BUT there is a reason for my madness.
No actually, I completely forgot to do it in the beginning. And then when I remembered, I thought it would be lame to do it at that point. But over the last couple of weeks, as I have started planning Zoe's FIRST birthday party, I have been doing a lot of reminiscing of that last week and day that led up to her birth. It was a crazy week, and God was amazing in it. So I decided that I don't care that it is almost 10 months too late. I want to share with you about the goodness of the Lord.
It was literally a picture perfect pregnancy. It couldn't have gone any better. No issues, the doctor was thrilled, we were on schedule, we knew we were having a girl, and we were ready to go. On Tuesday, October 11th I was unfortunately awakened very early in the morning by some INSANELY terrible pain under my right ribs. It was the kind of pain where you really can't even cry. It's like I skipped the crying stage and went right to the moaning stage. But it was my ribs, not my abdomen and no contractions, so I was pretty positive that I wasn't in labor. But after 5 hours of moaning, I decided I should probably call Labor and Delivery. So I call, I explain, I get told that it doesn't sound like I'm in labor (duh), and to call back in another couple of hours if the pain does not subside. To be perfectly honest, I knew I wasn't in labor. But I also knew that something was really, very wrong. But I obeyed orders and waited for another 2 miserable hours. I call back, they say come in. I called Lee home from work and we were off!
Before I continue, I need to tell you two things: First, my due date was November 2nd.... it was 3 1/2 weeks too early for Zoe to arrive. Second: My mom was scheduled to fly in for that upcoming weekend and attend a function with my brother at his college. She was going to be flying in on Thursday, the 13th. I won't lie, we "joked" about how wild it would be if I went into labor while she was here. Key word, "joked." Moving on.....
We get to the hospital and the tests and checking of the vitals begins. Bad thing #1: My blood pressure was quite high. Bad thing #2: The protein in my urine was also high. It is supposed to be 0, and it was a 3 when I got there. Both of these are signs of preeclampsia. High blood pressure is dangerous. If my blood pressure continued to be high or rise, I could run the risk of a decreased amount of blood flow getting to the placenta, which in turn reduces the oxygen and other nutrients getting to the baby. The high protein count was the reason for the rib pain... It was actually my liver that was causing the pain. It was having a difficult time processing the high amount of protein. They ended up having us stay for around 3 hours so they could keep an eye on me. In the end, my numbers stayed the same, but the pain had subsided. Since I had a regular appointment already scheduled for Thursday (in 2 more days), they decided to let me go home. I was exhausted and thankful.
Nothing exciting happened the rest of that day or Wednesday. And other than feeling worn out, I was doing pretty good. Thursday came around, and we were off to my appointment.
The bad things were still there, and a bit worse. This time, they didn't let me leave. I honestly wasn't too thrilled about it. But it wasn't long after I was admitted that the seriousness of the situation hit me, and I was all of a sudden very grateful that they did make me stay. The liver pain returned, my protein count made it up to a 4, and my blood pressure was through the roof. The goal was to try and get my blood pressure down... way down. Their idea of accomplishing this was to put me in a triage room with 2 other pregnant women with each of our beds cordoned off with drapes, no food, no water, no pain meds, a hospital bed that a cat or dog wouldn't be caught dead on, an absolutely hideous hospital gown, AND I had to lay completely flat on my side... No sitting up. If things didn't change soon, they wanted to induce me.
And I just have to insert this little tidbit. I am a HUGE fan of natural childbirth. We did so much research about epidurals and inducing, and we did not like what we heard and read. So our goal was to have a completely natural (NO drugs) birth. I was totally determined that I would not be induced and that I would have a c-section over induction any day. And no one was going to tell me otherwise.
When the Dr. said that they needed to induce me, I am totally embarrassed to say that I caved. I think the pain, exhaustion, and the pressure they put on me to be induced was just too overwhelming for me at that point.
In the meantime, my mom had landed and if I remember correctly had also made it to her hotel.
They also said Lee had enough time to run home (which was 45 minutes away) and pack some bags for us... It was going to be a long night.
So I'm at the hospital by myself. Trying to be brave. And trying to get my body to stop shaking from the pain and exhaustion.
Lee gets back... they move me into my own room... and they give me the induction "pill." Right after I took it, I was so disgusted with myself. It was one of the decisions that meant the most to me. I just wanted to cry my head off...
But it wasn't even 10 minutes later that the Dr. came in with some new news. They had just gotten some results back from some tests that they had run earlier. It turned out that my platelet (the things that help your blood to clot... in a healthy way!) count was very low. The new fear was that by the time I actually gave birth, my platelet count would be too low and I would bleed out. Not good. My blood pressure was still dangerously high, so he says we need to do an emergency c-section. As crazy as this sounds, I was thrilled! And terrified. In that moment I just felt like the Lord was so hearing my heart... He knew what I had wanted for my baby. And even though the situation was still scary and dangerous, I felt like the Lord was truly answering my prayer.
So the preparations began. Doctors and nurses everywhere trying to get us ready... My mom and brother were on their way... and we were about to meet our child.
Now, I don't want to scare off any future parents, but nor do I want to sugar coat this. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. Pain from my ribs, the contractions had already started, you have to use a catheter when you have a c-section, the epidural for the surgery, cold rooms.... I had to keep telling myself that it would be worth it. And it SO was.
Finally, I heard Zoe cry at 1:24am on Friday, October 14th. Probably the best sound I have ever heard. She weighed in at a whopping 5 pounds 2 ounces and was 19 inches long. She was perfect. There was nothing wrong with her. And my mom and brother made it just as Lee and a nurse were taking her into another room. Couldn't have planned it better myself.
Before I wrap this up, I need to give a SHOUT OUT to my husband. What an absolutely amazing man he is. He did EVERYTHING. He held my hand, he prayed with me, he helped me get out of bed, he held Zoe through the night so I could sleep, he went and got food... The list is endless. So thankful that the Lord knew I would need Lee Briggs.
And we are so very thankful for our Zoe. God is so good and is completely sovereign. Praise Him.
No actually, I completely forgot to do it in the beginning. And then when I remembered, I thought it would be lame to do it at that point. But over the last couple of weeks, as I have started planning Zoe's FIRST birthday party, I have been doing a lot of reminiscing of that last week and day that led up to her birth. It was a crazy week, and God was amazing in it. So I decided that I don't care that it is almost 10 months too late. I want to share with you about the goodness of the Lord.
It was literally a picture perfect pregnancy. It couldn't have gone any better. No issues, the doctor was thrilled, we were on schedule, we knew we were having a girl, and we were ready to go. On Tuesday, October 11th I was unfortunately awakened very early in the morning by some INSANELY terrible pain under my right ribs. It was the kind of pain where you really can't even cry. It's like I skipped the crying stage and went right to the moaning stage. But it was my ribs, not my abdomen and no contractions, so I was pretty positive that I wasn't in labor. But after 5 hours of moaning, I decided I should probably call Labor and Delivery. So I call, I explain, I get told that it doesn't sound like I'm in labor (duh), and to call back in another couple of hours if the pain does not subside. To be perfectly honest, I knew I wasn't in labor. But I also knew that something was really, very wrong. But I obeyed orders and waited for another 2 miserable hours. I call back, they say come in. I called Lee home from work and we were off!
Before I continue, I need to tell you two things: First, my due date was November 2nd.... it was 3 1/2 weeks too early for Zoe to arrive. Second: My mom was scheduled to fly in for that upcoming weekend and attend a function with my brother at his college. She was going to be flying in on Thursday, the 13th. I won't lie, we "joked" about how wild it would be if I went into labor while she was here. Key word, "joked." Moving on.....
We get to the hospital and the tests and checking of the vitals begins. Bad thing #1: My blood pressure was quite high. Bad thing #2: The protein in my urine was also high. It is supposed to be 0, and it was a 3 when I got there. Both of these are signs of preeclampsia. High blood pressure is dangerous. If my blood pressure continued to be high or rise, I could run the risk of a decreased amount of blood flow getting to the placenta, which in turn reduces the oxygen and other nutrients getting to the baby. The high protein count was the reason for the rib pain... It was actually my liver that was causing the pain. It was having a difficult time processing the high amount of protein. They ended up having us stay for around 3 hours so they could keep an eye on me. In the end, my numbers stayed the same, but the pain had subsided. Since I had a regular appointment already scheduled for Thursday (in 2 more days), they decided to let me go home. I was exhausted and thankful.
Nothing exciting happened the rest of that day or Wednesday. And other than feeling worn out, I was doing pretty good. Thursday came around, and we were off to my appointment.
The bad things were still there, and a bit worse. This time, they didn't let me leave. I honestly wasn't too thrilled about it. But it wasn't long after I was admitted that the seriousness of the situation hit me, and I was all of a sudden very grateful that they did make me stay. The liver pain returned, my protein count made it up to a 4, and my blood pressure was through the roof. The goal was to try and get my blood pressure down... way down. Their idea of accomplishing this was to put me in a triage room with 2 other pregnant women with each of our beds cordoned off with drapes, no food, no water, no pain meds, a hospital bed that a cat or dog wouldn't be caught dead on, an absolutely hideous hospital gown, AND I had to lay completely flat on my side... No sitting up. If things didn't change soon, they wanted to induce me.
And I just have to insert this little tidbit. I am a HUGE fan of natural childbirth. We did so much research about epidurals and inducing, and we did not like what we heard and read. So our goal was to have a completely natural (NO drugs) birth. I was totally determined that I would not be induced and that I would have a c-section over induction any day. And no one was going to tell me otherwise.
When the Dr. said that they needed to induce me, I am totally embarrassed to say that I caved. I think the pain, exhaustion, and the pressure they put on me to be induced was just too overwhelming for me at that point.
In the meantime, my mom had landed and if I remember correctly had also made it to her hotel.
They also said Lee had enough time to run home (which was 45 minutes away) and pack some bags for us... It was going to be a long night.
So I'm at the hospital by myself. Trying to be brave. And trying to get my body to stop shaking from the pain and exhaustion.
Lee gets back... they move me into my own room... and they give me the induction "pill." Right after I took it, I was so disgusted with myself. It was one of the decisions that meant the most to me. I just wanted to cry my head off...
But it wasn't even 10 minutes later that the Dr. came in with some new news. They had just gotten some results back from some tests that they had run earlier. It turned out that my platelet (the things that help your blood to clot... in a healthy way!) count was very low. The new fear was that by the time I actually gave birth, my platelet count would be too low and I would bleed out. Not good. My blood pressure was still dangerously high, so he says we need to do an emergency c-section. As crazy as this sounds, I was thrilled! And terrified. In that moment I just felt like the Lord was so hearing my heart... He knew what I had wanted for my baby. And even though the situation was still scary and dangerous, I felt like the Lord was truly answering my prayer.
So the preparations began. Doctors and nurses everywhere trying to get us ready... My mom and brother were on their way... and we were about to meet our child.
Now, I don't want to scare off any future parents, but nor do I want to sugar coat this. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. Pain from my ribs, the contractions had already started, you have to use a catheter when you have a c-section, the epidural for the surgery, cold rooms.... I had to keep telling myself that it would be worth it. And it SO was.
Finally, I heard Zoe cry at 1:24am on Friday, October 14th. Probably the best sound I have ever heard. She weighed in at a whopping 5 pounds 2 ounces and was 19 inches long. She was perfect. There was nothing wrong with her. And my mom and brother made it just as Lee and a nurse were taking her into another room. Couldn't have planned it better myself.
Before I wrap this up, I need to give a SHOUT OUT to my husband. What an absolutely amazing man he is. He did EVERYTHING. He held my hand, he prayed with me, he helped me get out of bed, he held Zoe through the night so I could sleep, he went and got food... The list is endless. So thankful that the Lord knew I would need Lee Briggs.
And we are so very thankful for our Zoe. God is so good and is completely sovereign. Praise Him.
The Word
"But now, this is what the Lord says - He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
Isaiah 43:1-2
Isaiah 43:1-2
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